Conversation Management

I’m heading back to Boston for Thanksgiving. It’ll be nice to talk to my mother in person. We talk a lot on her Bluetooth while she is in the car. Sometimes she thinks I’m done talking and starts talking before I am finished. The other day I said “Mom? Can you hear me?”
My mother: Yes, I can hear you, why?
Me: You keep starting to talk before I am done talking.
My mother: I hate when people do that. I’m sorry.
Me: Well, just try to ..
My mother: I really can’t stand when people do that to me so I’m sorry I did it to you.
Me: You just did it again.
My mother: Sorry. (silence)
Me: How about when one person is done speaking, they say Done?
My mother: That works. Done.
Me: Great. So I was asking how you found out about that movie. Done.
My mother: I had it written down. Done.
Me: It’s based on a true story.Done.
My mother: I didn’t know. Done.
Me: This kinda ruins the spontaneous nature of the conversation. Done.
My mother: Yeah, it sucks. Done.
Me: Ok. I am not doing it anymore. (silence) Mom?
My mother: I’m here. I wasn’t sure if you were done.
My mother, sister and I are volunteering to deliver meals to people in need. We have talked about it for years but we have never followed through. I have a vague memory of it being discussed one year when we went to Mexico for Thanksgiving; just the three of us in Playa del Carmen. I don’t remember if we had turkey in Mexico but I do remember a lot of bats at night. We would grab each other by the arm and run to our casita through the bat laden trees. None of the bats ever came after us nor did we hear any pool side tales of bat attacks but every night we were terrified of those bats. I also have a picture of me holding a little monkey and my mother says I got on a donkey’s back but there is no evidence to prove that.
After volunteering we’ll go to my aunt’s house and eat. There won’t be any unusual animals there but I’m sure there will be some unusual conversations.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanks for listening!
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.
twitter @theotherkendra

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