There was a time when I would wake up and think glamorous thoughts like
“Some day I’m gonna live in Eastern Europe smoking cigarettes and drinking during the day, telling people about the movie script I’m working on.”
Or sexual fantasies such as “Some day I’m gonna go live in the hills in Italy and not talk to anybody for three months then ask the town’s folk what stories they made up about me and make love to whoever has the most glamorous assumptions.. and maybe the one who had the worst too. And maybe the one …”
Facebook has changed all that. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to do both those things and more but my most pressing reverie, the one that crosses my mind pretty much once a week, is “Some day I’m gonna go on my Facebook newsfeed and comment on every status update things like “so what?” “who cares?” “good one!…Not!” then update my status to “what are you gonna do about it?”
Roll the dice.
Stir the shit.
All that jazz.
Which got me to thinking…
Top Ten Underused Facebook Comments
10. Good one…not!
7. Get a life!
6. So what?
5. Who cares?
4. You suck
2. Who gives a fuck?
And the number one most underused Facebook comment
1. Whoopee ding dong!!
don't go stealing my dreams, now!
Thanks for listening!
Kendra is a stand up comic living in Brooklyn where she owns a super comfortable bed. She spends most of her time wondering where the hell her sugar daddy is and hoping he didn’t settle.